January 2019 has been one of the most difficult months of my life.  Within 2 ½ weeks, I lost my Dad and my grandmother to cancer.  Indeed, the past year (2018), was the most difficult year of my life, because I had to watch two of the most important people in my life go down in health and become helpless before my own eyes. These were two very spirited, strong-willed, feisty people…full of life and opinions of life.  They definitely kept you going with their witty comments and matter-of-fact words of wisdom. 

So, when they became impatient with themselves about what they could no longer do because of their illness, I just wanted to let them know that it was totally Ok.  My family and I just wanted them to be comfortable and happy. 

What makes this month particularly difficult is losing them both in the same timeframe and knowing that on this side of heaven, I will not be able to spend time with them anymore.  Thankfully, I can reflect on the difference that they made in my life, because they were here.  They both greatly influenced who I have become as a person.

My Grandma, Ms. Muh

Everybody in the family called her, Muh; but, I affectionately called my grandma, Ms. Muh.  I picked that up years ago, from my niece, Kristi.  The thing that I admired most about Ms. Muh, was her love for family.  Over the years, Muh, raised not only her own children, but she also had a hand in raising her grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great grands.  She loved being surrounded by her family.  She laughed with them, told them off when necessary, and spoke words of wisdom on a regular basis.  Most of the time, when the house was most crowded, she would just sit back and take it all in with a big smile on her face.  My Mom is just like her mother, Muh, in this regard. 

This made me value family to the level that I do today.  I believe that motherhood is truly a gift from God and that family is what God gave us to help us enjoy life here on earth.  The most beautiful thing to me, is that when my grandmother was down and unable to do for herself, she was taken care of in her own home, to her last day, by her very own children and grandchildren.  That is a legacy that needs to be passed on from generation to generation, especially in today’s society.  

So, many people are so busy trying to pursue their dreams, but their family is not part of that dream.  I think they fail to consider that when all that they are seeking is finally out of reach (and one day it will be), what will they be left with then? 

Money, fame, material possessions, all have their way of going away as time marches on.  If you live long enough, you will get to a point where you are no longer able to get up and go here and there whenever you feel like it.  If you live long enough, you will get to a point where you will be inside of your home… or in a room in that home… or someone else’s… or in a nursing home.  It is during this time that you will reap what you have sown. 

Galatians 6:7 says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked:  for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”  You can not reap what you have not sown.  The question to ask ourselves is, What have we sown?” “What are we sowing?” You can only get back what you yourself have given. 

Luke 6:38 says, “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom.  For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”  The question to ask ourselves is, “What have we been giving?”  Is it positive or negative?  Is it criticism or understanding?  Is it an insult or praise?  Is it hate or love?  It is in those honest answers, that will reveal what will be given back to you.  It is something to think about…right now…before it’s too late.  If you don’t like the answer, then it’s time to begin sowing and giving something different.

Muh got it right!  She did a wonderful job as a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother.  She was loved by her family and her community.  She never met a stranger and she loved people and enjoyed spending time with others.

My Daddy

My Dad was truly, hands-down, without question, my biggest fan!  All of my life, he wanted me to know that there was nothing that I could not do.  He felt like I was the best at everything that I did.  He celebrated every accomplishment that I shared with him over the years and always added, “I knew you could do it!  You can do anything you set your mind to do!  I’m proud of you, girl…you know that?”

Dad was a hardworker…a builder and contractor by trade.  He worked in whatever kind of weather you could think of without complaint or hesitation.  What was “too hot” or “too cold” for most, didn’t bother him.  He felt like everyone else was being wimpy.  He was so strong and determined as a person.  This was instilled in me in a lot of ways, but not with the weather.  I still don’t like when it is too cold, or too hot, and I dislike thunderstorms to this day.  However, whatever job or task I have been given, I try to do my very best.  Colossians 3:23-24 says, “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.” 

I try to aim for excellence in everything I do… to a fault at times.  I feel guilty when I can’t reach that goal for whatever reason…exhaustion, illness, mental fatigue, lack of skill, etc.  Although I do not regret being a dedicated and hardworker, I need to learn to give myself grace.

Dad was also gifted in a lot of other areas.  For example, he was a singer, songwriter, and poet.  I can say that I am all of those things as well.  However, what was most influential to me about my Dad is that although he never had a college education and he got his GED as an adult, he could figure out how to do just about anything.  He would tell you that the Lord taught him how to lay concrete, lay out houses, do electrical, and plumbing work, etc.  He was also a preacher and he gave Bible Studies.  I only realized recently, how big of a reader he was.  I never really thought about it before, but he was always reading the Bible or a Bible-based book. 

I am an avid reader myself.  I realized the value of being a lifetime learner, years ago.  In the areas where I feel lost and stuck, I am always prayerfully trying to learn more and am determined to, by God’s grace, figure it out.  Since I was a little girl, Daddy always told me to learn all I can, because he never had the opportunities to learn that I have had.  He was a big advocate of children getting the best education they can get.  Even on his death bed, he constantly wanted updates on how my students were doing.  It was one of his favorite subjects to talk about with me. 

I’m trying to pay it forward…I want my students to value their education and reach their full potential. I don’t want them to take their opportunities to learn and grow for granted. I want my son to know that I am his biggest fan too and I desire that he becomes all that God wants him to be.  I want him to get the best education he can get; but, most of all, I want him to know JESUS for himself.  I want him to love God with all of his heart and use his gifts and talents to bring honor and glory to God’s name.

Yes.  I have lost two very important people in my life this month, but they have left me with a rich legacy to pass on and so much more to be thankful for.